Thursday, October 25, 2012

Done. Over it. Sense of humor? Lost it.

This had better be my last post before I can say I know the babies' birth date...


Mom is done. I'm cashing out. These boys have used up every last resource I have, and there is nothing left. I surrender. Get them out.........

So we spent yesterday in the L&D triage (ER for pregnant people) because I called my doctor to let her know my little spontaneous regurgitation problem was getting much worse. They ordered blood work and monitoring so we headed over. Five hours later they told me my blood looks perfectly fine and the babies are great so we should just go home. Not sure if they discharged me prematurely due to the fact that the teenage chick next to me believed she was in labor with baby #3 (winning!), or what, but we left...

So what's my problem? I'll tell you...I CAN'T EAT AND I'M LOSING IT! I'm only going to go back six weeks for the sake of time, but since 30 weeks I haven't been able to keep pretty much anything down. I was relying on Boost nutrition drinks for a while, then I got Nexium, it helped for a while, but now it doesn't because this is not acid reflux. This is just random throwing up problem. There's no warning whatsoever. I don't feel sick. I can be driving and all of a sudden........ gross. Our neighbors bushes became a victim 2 days ago.

So I've got 2 (around) 6lb humans getting fat off of my body, meanwhile I can't eat or drink. I'm lucky to consume 500 calories in a day, and most of that doesn't last. I feel like I'm losing my mind due to malnutrition and dehydration, and what does my doctor and the nurses have to say is "Sorry you're so uncomfortable. We know how you must feel." Oh really?! You've been in this situation??! No I didn't think you had. Wipe the smile off your face, stop telling me how adorable these kids are going to be, and give me a damn solution. If one more labor and delivery nurse smiles while she tells me something completely unhelpful I swear I'll lose it. I would like to request cancer ward nurses be there during the delivery. At least they won't be so damn cutesy about everything.
This is seriously how dumb the nurses look to me when they're assuring me I'm fine....

I have fetal heart rate monitoring tomorrow and Monday, and then I will meet with my doctor Tuesday after the final growth scan. I'll be 37 weeks. I am either leaving with a c section date within the week or I'm asking to be admitted into the hospital so that I don't completely lose it. To be blatantly honest I have stopped caring about how wonderful the babies are doing. I get it, I know they're healthy, they're wiggling around in my uterus. I'm concerned with the care of the mother, MY health and mental well being, which apparently isn't very important to obstetricians, but I'm sure you can all tell is deteriorating........


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