Thursday, April 18, 2013

All Multiples Parents Can Relate

Sometimes going out in public can be a chore, and not because of the babies.

Top 5 things we hear (and the way we'd like to respond) every single time we leave the house. These questions are asked multiple times. By various strangers. Every. Single. Time. We. Leave. The. House.

1. "Are they twins?"- No. They are best friends who met on Facebook.

2. "Can I touch them?" - Do you want to lose a finger?

3. "So you guys don't get out a lot do you?" - Then why the hell are you stopping us?!

4. "Are they yours?" - Shhhhhhhhh. ::look around for law enforcement::

5. "Oh they're identical!" (Well no actually, they aren't) "Oh yes, they are. They most definitely are" - I realize they look alike, but I also know exactly how many amniotic sacs and placentas I had, as well as the placement of those placentas. But if you would like we can go to my doctors office and I can request records.

Here is a picture inside of our heads while we are approaching any stranger in a public place:
1. Don't make eye contact.
2. Okay, crap. We didn't make eye contact, but they still appear to be walking straight for the stroller.
3. Yes, despite our best efforts they do seem as though they are going to try to engage in conversation (still staring at the ground, fumbling with phone, anything not to look directly at them).
4. Alright, they've stopped and said hello. How can I make this a "Yes, they are twins." one and done conversation?
5. Oh shit they want to talk.
6. For crying out loud, they're neighbor's best friend's aunt's college roommate's dad is a twin. They're an expert.
7.Smile. Pray one of the babies cries.
8.Good lord they're still talking!
9.This must be what it feels like to have triplets.
10.You're still talking, but as you can see we're leaving. I'm probably mumbling something like "Babies. Nap. Might cry. Gotta go. So sorry. Great chat. Nice weather."

As much as love seeing people smile at the babies, it becomes a bit of a hassle when you've been at Publix for 10 minutes and you've already been stopped 18 times, and heard the same 5 questions each one of those times. We try to remember that it's fun seeing babies, especially multiple babies, but if we're short please remember you were not the first, or probably even the hundred and first, person to say the exact same thing to us that day. Eventually the boys will grow older and people won't stop anymore, and I will miss it, but until that day, I will stare at the ground or pretend to get a phone call when I see you walking toward me ;)

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