Friday, September 27, 2013

11 month recap (from Dad)

As our boys approach the 11 month mark here are some things we have learned about who they are:

1-They laugh at everything. Even things that aren't suppose to be funny, like mom walking into the end of the bed and hopping around holding her foot in pain or dad walking into a wall and laying in the fetal position because his "funny" bone was not properly named. However, to them, we are just putting on a show and we are damn good at it.

2-At first, we were excited when they could hold their heads up. We couldn't wait for them to be able to sit up, crawl, stand up, and walk. Now they sit up, crawl, and stand up (walking is soon) and now we wish they would just lay down and chill out. We didn't realize they would be so good at all of this in what seems like an overnight transition.

3-They love all sorts of foods. Even foods that they at one point showed signs of not liking at first. Like banana's...they hated banana's. Would spit it out and make a huge mess, throwing it on the floor, the walls, getting it in their hair...guess what they love now?...banana's. Of course. They still do all of those things with it, but now they have a smile on their face.

4-They like naps. Just not naps during times that's convenient for us.

5-I am pretty sure they are a part of some kind of terrorist organization. One that breaks down your spirit with high screeches, drool, tears, explosive pooping, and peeing on you (this literally happened as recent as yesterday thanks to Langston). I still have to do some more investigation on this one. Will keep you posted.

6-Games like putting drool fingers in daddy's mouth, pulling mommy's hair, ripping our cats fur off are just ways to pass the time each day. This kind of reinforces point #5.

7-They don't like being woken up when they are sleeping. I find this ironic.

8-The more poop they have in their diaper the more they want to put their hands down there when you are changing them.

9-They make the cutest faces ever, until you take their picture.

10-They can drive you crazy all day and make you love them more than anyone or anything at the same time

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

In retrospect...

I told my parents I was expecting in May of last year. It was an early Mother's and Father's Day present to them both. We knew we were pregnant, about 5 weeks, but had no clue we were having twins.

Some know I don't have a relationship with my mom anymore, but at the time I was trying to convince her that my desire for a home birth was perfectly safe (I can see the hospital from my back yard, in the event of an emergency). In my lifetime of knowing her, this shouldn't have been met with hostility, but it was. A couple of weeks later I found out I was having twins. A home birth, or even midwife birth, would be out of the question.

I was so excited though (twins!), and totally dumbfounded. I never considered the possibility, and I know my husband hadn't either. People truly believed we were kidding until we showed them the ultrasound photo, including my family!

I had a ridiculously handled pregnancy. Undiagnosed anemia, nearly constant fainting, bedrest, the complete inability to eat or drink which landed me in the hospital days before I gave birth, insomnia that would last for days. Nothing was "beautiful" and I wasn't "glowing." I was prescribed so many medications that I became concerned. Where was this natural experience I had hoped for? Instead I had an invasive pregnancy. I was being stretched to my limit physically and mentally, and the only real "medical care" I was given was in the form of prescription bottles of medications that never worked. My obstetrician was away. A lot. The office staff wasn't helpful. Ever. In the end I was told that I wasn't capable of going through labor, although the babies were positioned properly, and I was already in the beginning stages. But I blindly followed the hospital's directions, polite and obliging so as not to be labeled a "failure to comply" on yet another thing, and I now have a nice big scar to prove it.

This experience left my husband and I very cut off from the possibility of ever having another child. Not because we didn't want more babies, but because we didn't see how we could possibly ever go through that again. For him, he was stuck in limbo for nine months. It must have been like living with someone who had a perpetual flu. I was stuck in bed, watching NetFlix, sipping water, slowly losing my desire and ability to do anything. I definitely wasn't the pregnant woman most people envision, decorating and nesting, holding, singing, and reading to her belly. In truth, I felt like I was dying.

So in a big way, when we came home from the hospital, especially because it was without the babies at first (they were in NICU), we both felt like we had lost something. And it took a hell of a long time to get it back. We've talked on and off about the possibility of trying again at some point, and I think the option is on the table, but it will be a very difficult decision for us to make. All anyone was focused on was "Oh but you have TWO healthy babies!" and it's not like that didn't matter, but no one was focused on how healthy I was. How healthy he was. I was sick. Physically. Mentally. And I know it took a big toll on him as well.

We have worked so hard this past year to mend the things that seemed lost and broken. My health, all of the things that fall under health. His as well. I have spent countless hours researching and talking to other women about what went wrong during my pregnancy, what I allowed or agreed to that I didn't have to (but so many new moms do), where my doctor fell short and how those shortcomings affected the entire outcome, may very well be the reason my boys were born early.

It wasn't a fairytale. It wasn't the way we planned it to be, or even wanted it to be. But it is the way it was. Because of it I am much more educated, informed, and ready for any future kiddos, as well as what's going on with the twins. I believe it's made me the mom I am. It's made me concerned with other moms and being able to help them and their families. It's helped me to connect with moms literally all over the world. And for that I am grateful. In the end, yes, I have two very healthy and happy baby boys. But if I could do it over knowing what I know now, I know those babies would have cooked a little longer, and I wouldn't allow the treatment I was given, especially from the hospital.

Monday, September 16, 2013

WTF Happened to My Body...The Conclusion!

It's been nearly 11 months since I had my twins. It's been 5 months since I posted a body picture. In that time I have worked my tail off my tail off. I have run, lifted weights, practiced hot yoga, walked, squatted, lunged, and burpeed myself towards a stronger, healthier me. Most recently I increased my calories quite a bit and upped my protein intake by nearly 80 grams per day, and that alone showed me some of my biggest results.

At this point I fit into everything I did before I had my boys, and some things even fit better now than they did then. I didn't do any of this to get "skinny." I did it to get healthy. To get strong. I was strong and healthy before I got pregnant, and I didn't like the feeling of weakness and general body softness that is pretty much part of having babies, I wanted the old me back. Thankfully, I think I found her, and I have had the most amazing, funny, smart, and adorable baby boys with me through all of this. They let me work out in their play room at home, they come with us to the gym, and I'm pretty sure they'll be helping their dad teach fitness classes before their fourth birthday ;) 

Enough are the BEFORES (you can find more in previous blog posts):

 And the AFTERS!

so much less squish :)

It's all a work in progress. Just sharing this journey back to me, for any who care to read it <3

Monday, September 9, 2013

10+ Month Update :)

So life happens and blog posts apparently don't, sorry! Here's what's been going on in the Kelley household lately:

  • The twins are 10 months old!
  • They are still cloth diapered and living off of 99% mom milk/1% what they steal off mom's plate
  • They are full on crawling, pulling up on everything and anything, they have 2 bottom teeth, they are walking along furniture, saying "da-da", "ball", "ya", and "hi"'s possible there's more, but they really need to enunciate ;)
  • They adore bubble baths, but mostly just to eat the bubbles...
  • They play in an MMA cage at the gym where Daddy works, and aren't afraid to hit the hanging bags. Pretty much makes them the most bad ass babies you've ever met.
  • They use a sippy cup like pros
  • They don't like shoes...just like their mom!
  • Steve and I just celebrated our one year wedding anniversary on August 22nd
  • Steve is still going strong full time at school with a 3.9 GPA and maintaining a successful fitness program at The Stomping Ground Fitness and MMA gym
  • I am somehow maintaining my sanity, our home, the health and happiness of our munchkins, and I have been sharing a lot of the fitness load lately. Feels amazing to finally feel strong again, I give push ups and burpees the credit for that.
  • We had a huge turnout (130 people! $2,000 raised!) for our charity boot camp to benefit a beautiful little girl and her family. We are looking forward to our next in November :)

I will do my darndest to get one of these things written at least twice a month!